Hovering

photo 3 (5)

I am the mom who hovers.

I am definitely not the hovering type. Here I am at the park, hoping there will be a moment when I can sit on a bench while she goes through her rituals; carefully watching her face for signs of distractions that will require action on my part.

We play in ways where I have figured out a secret passageway into her world. She can block me out in an instant, especially in unfamiliar places. She has her own method to explore and accept her surroundings. I can only watch that part, and I don’t really mind anymore.

“Can she play with me?”

Damn it. Now I have to explain to this hopeful little girl why my daughter is not going to pay any attention to her. It’s never a simple conversation.

After a brief explanation I turn to Teghan. “Teghan, can you say hi?” Nope. She’s in a loop. She’s found her point A and point B and she is too busy running between those two points to notice we exist right now. I get it, but that’s not a reason that makes sense to most children. Continue reading

Expectations While Visiting the Spectrum

 

The online autism community definitely makes us feel more normal around here. The truth is, most of the parenting experiences I read about on social media come from that community. I get a daily dose of it- and it does make me forget once in a while that most families are not like ours.

Of course, we don’t really know many people personally who understand autism; and we do have to leave the house some time. I have gotten so used to hearing from autism parents online, I have to remind myself that the majority of people I encounter in the real world know next to nothing about autism. People are filled with wrong ideas about autism. Or no ideas at all. If it is not a part of their world, who can blame them?  Continue reading