Daydreams of Friendship


Sometimes I admire someone more than they admire me. Sometimes it’s the other way around. We aren’t bad people (usually), we just don’t match quite as well. Sometimes we simply make mistakes about someone’s potential in our lives.

I have been thinking a lot about making new friends. It’s harder when you are older- even harder when you’re married with children. I generally don’t have reasons to go out and be social when I have my couch, especially when the people I like most exist within a very small radius of that couch. When I was a teenager all I ever wanted was my own space, to do whatever I wanted, and to be able to make out with my boyfriend. Turns out all my dreams came true at a very young age.

In our twenties we went out most nights. Dave was always playing, and the bars in our town closed at 4am. We worked jobs that required us to show up nights and weekends. Our friends were mostly musicians who we had known a long time, and friendship was easy. These people are still friends, but they all live somewhere else.

So we moved to Michigan in our thirties- along with a child, and autism. If we are being truthful here, that last factor plays a huge part in who qualifies as a potential good friend. And as we get older, our friendship requirements become much more specific in other ways, too. In fact, I don’t think the friends we are looking for even exist. Guess we start making more road trips back to Illinois.

People I connect with fall into two categories: those who share my sense of humor, and those who I could stay up all night discussing topics that make our heads hurt.  Continue reading