Hovering

photo 3 (5)

I am the mom who hovers.

I am definitely not the hovering type. Here I am at the park, hoping there will be a moment when I can sit on a bench while she goes through her rituals; carefully watching her face for signs of distractions that will require action on my part.

We play in ways where I have figured out a secret passageway into her world. She can block me out in an instant, especially in unfamiliar places. She has her own method to explore and accept her surroundings. I can only watch that part, and I don’t really mind anymore.

“Can she play with me?”

Damn it. Now I have to explain to this hopeful little girl why my daughter is not going to pay any attention to her. It’s never a simple conversation.

After a brief explanation I turn to Teghan. “Teghan, can you say hi?” Nope. She’s in a loop. She’s found her point A and point B and she is too busy running between those two points to notice we exist right now. I get it, but that’s not a reason that makes sense to most children. Continue reading