Shatterproof

I’m not sure how many light bulbs were broken before it occurred to me. “Don’t they make shatter-resistant light bulbs?” I’m going to guess about forty. Forty light bulbs were smashed into tiny bits and swept up off the floor–probably more. But never completely, of course. You can never get each sliver of glass. You always miss a few.

(Now that we have no more glass dishes, we have also decided to lock our cabinet doors.)

I can’t wait for that box of light bulbs to get here. I become angry every time I hear the familiar sound of broken glass coming from the next room. She’s so quick. And there she’ll be, giggling as if she has never been more pleased with herself. I remain calm, sweep up the glass, and repeat for the millionth time: “Do not touch light bulbs. Because you touched the light bulb, you will not have any Pop Tarts today.”

This is when she throws herself into a crying fit and begins to request Pop Tarts on an endless loop; specifically requesting the confetti cupcake flavor, which we do not have. In fact, I cannot find them at all this month, and fear they have discontinued the flavor. (We had a minor setback when Kellogg’s decided to discontinue the peanut butter and jelly ones, but I imagine confetti cupcake will be a much more dramatic loss since it is featured in one of her favorite YouTube videos).

Occasionally she will unscrew a light bulb, set it on the table, and wait… like she’s hiding an Easter egg for us. She just wants us to know that she could have broken it.  Continue reading