What 365 Days Might Bring

Teghan Dr Appt

I started this blog one year ago today. Overall, I have found it to be a good experience. It’s amazing what a year can bring. I suppose any day of the year you could go back 365 days and say to yourself, “I never thought THIS is what I would be doing one year later.” Life is full of surprises.

I never would have imagined when I started this blog that one year later I would be waiting to go to the hospital to say goodbye to the baby we lost at 17 weeks. It’s a strange type of limbo to look pregnant, feel pregnant, and know nothing will change as long as the baby is still with you. Today will be a horrible kind of relief from that place, I suppose. But that isn’t the part I want to talk about right now. What I do want to talk about is the one good experience I had this past week. I want to talk about what a difference a good doctor makes.

I haven’t had any real complaints with my own doctors in the past. I have had almost no reason to ever see one. Most of my complaints have been with my husband’s doctors. It’s really hard to find a good neurologist; maybe some of you have already figured that out. Some of you may not even realize that your doctor is lacking. I know, because that is what happened with Dave’s first doctor.  Continue reading

Safe Conversations

Eyebrows!

I talk to a lot of people at work each week. Most of them are people who I see regularly, and I get to know them after a while. There is a lot of small talk about weekend plans, weather, etc.; so it is no surprise when the topic of children comes up. People are always asking me if I have any children.

I usually answer with a simple, “Yes, we have one.” This leads to questions about gender and age. Sometimes it stops there, but often it continues into something along the lines of, “Oh, five is such a fun age….” And then goes on to conversation about what typical five year olds are like and what kind of things my daughter likes or enjoys doing.

It’s all very safe conversation for most people. But at some point, this line of questioning forces me to explain that my daughter has autism and is nonverbal. And, unless I am going to outright lie about the things she enjoys doing, I am going to need a disclaimer with my answer.

It’s not that I have a problem sharing this, it’s just that it changes the tone of the conversation a bit. The safe, barely-engaging banter we were both enjoying in our brief time together now suddenly becomes deeper than either of us had intended.  Continue reading

Getting to Know Teghan

guitar up

There is such a difference between the Teghan we see at home, and the Teghan everyone else sees when we go out. I suppose it’s true of all kids. All people, actually. We are all a little truer when you find us in our home environment, surrounded by the people who know us best.

But when we go out and see others, even though there are walls to break through before you really know someone, there is also a social game that is played out to get there. You get some sense of the person through conversation and body language. And that is where it starts.

Because of this, people seldom get to know Teghan. She doesn’t conform to any social rules, and a new environment seems to trigger something in her. She is on a mission of exploration- and that exploration has nothing to do with any of the people standing around. People are not very high on her agenda, and she is much more interested in understanding the layout of her surroundings. Or maybe if there are any books that come in a group she might like to tap on.  Continue reading